20 Years

It's hard for me to believe, but 20 years ago today I fell off the hood of a car and my life changed forever in the blink of an eye.  

I was 16 years old.  That summer I had gotten my driver's license, started dating, and I had just returned from a trip touring Europe with my Sophomore year's Humanities class.  I was about 2 weeks into my Junior year at Plano Senior High School, so I was meeting many new friends and experiencing a brand new school.  I had a pretty heavy class load of honors and AP classes, but I wasn't worried because I'd always done pretty well in school.

The rest of the events from the evening of September 15, 1989 have been related to me by other people.  I don't remember anything at all from that entire day, nor from several weeks afteward.

A group of my friends had come to our house to carpool to the Plano football game that Friday evening.  We were talking and playing and listening to music from the car radios.  A few of us, including myself, were relaxing on the hoods of the cars.  I was leaning with my back on the windshield of a friend's car.  The girl who owned that car decided it was time to go to the game, so she got behind the wheel and started the engine.  I don't know if I was just playing around or if I didn't believe she was going to start driving, but I didn't get off hercar.  She began moving forward, and the momentum nearly knocked me sideways off the hood.  I flipped over onto my stomach and grabbed the windshield wipers.  I  think a friend in her car told her to stop because they saw me slipping, so she hit her brakes to slow down from the 10-15 miles an hour she was driving.

The stop caused me to fly off the car backwards about 15 feet.  I landed first on my heels, then my backside, then elbows, then my head hit the pavement and bounced.  When my friend James reached me after the fall, I was muttering gibberish.  He picked me up off the pavement and carried me down the street and laid me on my back in the grass in the front yard of our home.  I turned over onto my stomach and began mumbling and pulling grass from the yard and rubbing it on the back of my head.  I think this action caused enough alarm among the surprised teenagers that they decided to get my mom.

They told her that they thought I might need to go to the hospital because I was dizzy from doing cartwheels on the lawn.  I still don't know why they told her that.  I don't think anyone understood the situation at that point.  My mom put me in the car and drove me the short distance to Plano Medical Center, where they put me in a wheelchair and wheeled me into the hospital.  I was having seizures while slumped over in the wheelchair as my mom told the admissions nurse that I was dizzy from cartwheels.  That was when my friend Kara mentioned to her that my situation *could* have been caused when I fell off the hood of the car.  Needless to say, my mom was pretty upset with my friends!

I was admitted to the ICU because I was quickly slipping into a semi-comatose state, where I stayed for 3 days.  The impact from my head hitting the pavement had thrown my brain forward and caused a subdural hematoma.  My brain was bleeding, and the swelling was threatening my life.  They tried several treatments to decrease the swelling, but after 3 days it was getting pretty serious.  I would either need brain surgery to reduce the fluid, or they could try a fluid-reducing diuretic first, as a last-ditch effort.  My parents chose the diuretic, praying with all their faith that I could recover from this without undergoing traumatic brain surgery.  I was given a priesthood blessing by my dear wonderful father and then they administered the medicine.  

Within 1 hour, the swelling decreased dramatically and I came out of the coma.  It was a miracle!  Years later, I discovered from a neurologist who examined to my case that mine was  the only non-surgical recovery he's ever heard of after a brain injury like mine.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was given a second chance at life, and that it was a result of great prayer, faith, and fasting on my behalf.

I had lost my short-term memory in the injury, and it took three weeks for it to come back.  They told me that I would look around me in puzzlement, turn to whoever was nearby, and ask "Where am I?" every few minutes.  Mom and Dad patiently told me the story of what had happened over and over again.  In all, I was in the ICU for 3 days and in the CCU for 10 days (I believe), and at least one of my parents was by my side every step of the way.  I have tiny fragments of memory from that time.  I remember several visits from friends.  I know that Mom spent her 39th birthday in the hospital with me.  I know that she was Relief Society President at the time, and had the 4 other children at home to care for, from Dallin at age 14 down to Staci, who turned 4 shortly after I came home from the hospital.  I even remember bits of time when my Daddy sat next to my hospital bed and read aloud The Scarlet Letter, which was required reading for my Honors English class.  Later, when I took the test on that book, I got 100%!

The outpouring of love and support for us was overwhelming.  I had many, many visitors while I was in the hospital.  My hospital room and bedroom at home were covered in gifts and flowers and balloons for months as I recovered.  I will always treasure the service and charity that so many provided to my family!  

It was a long, slow process of recovery, but I made it.  I am extremely fortunate that I do not have any permanent brain damage from the accident.  I did lose most of my sense of smell, and I had seizures for about 2 years.  I have struggled with physical weakness since the accident, and I will always be sensitive to extreme temperatures.  I wonder often if my infertility and metabolic issues have stemmed from the injury.  I will never know how things would have turned out had I not sat on that car, because I can't go back and change the past.  All I can do is learn from it.

The most incredible impact from the entire accident, though, is the change in my heart and mind.  I took so many things for granted before.  My parents, my siblings, my friends, my health and strength, my intelligence, my happiness, my belief in Heavenly Father and Jesus, and even my life.  I had the indestructibility of youth and naivete on my side, and I believed nothing could ever go wrong!  As I recovered, I discovered an indescribable passion for life.  I knew I had been allowed to stay here on earth to accomplish something, though I didn't know what it was.  I had a new lease on life, and I was brimming with love and overwhelmed with humility that it was granted to me.

I have carried that feeling with me ever since.  I am so grateful for the blessings in my life.  My amazing, incredible parents, who carried me through my trials for years and years and years.  My dear brothers and sisters (and brothers- and sisters-in-law), who strengthen and uplift me always.  My dear husband, who constantly supports and encourages me, and fills in the gaps when I can't always be super-Erlynne.  My gorgeous boys, who challenge and delight me every day.  My beloved friends, who give me unconditional love and acceptance and without whom I couldn't remain sane.  My Savior, whom I love with all my heart and who gave the greatest gift to all mankind, the gift of Eternal Life.

It has been the most incredible 20 years I could imagine.  Thanks for the second chance at my life, Heavenly Father!  I am honored to have the opportunity to live it!