Back!

Hi everybody!

I am back!  It is spring, it is gorgeous and flowery and sunny and beautiful outside (except for the 1 weird day of snow), and it has been time for rebirth and renewal here in our household.  

It's a long, involved, depressing story to tell why I haven't been motivated to do... welllll... ANYTHING.  In short, 2008 was really tough for me, and I couldn't find "the happy."  So I sought counseling and they supported my decision to try an antidepressant.  I did, and since November 2008 I have been ASLEEP!  I realized, after a year and a half of "meh" and "I can't be bothered," that I had more than just stepped back and relaxed, I had lost the vitality and joy that make me who I am.  The medicines had forced me to be so sleepy and worn down and relaxed that they depressed me!

So when I realized that I had accidentally signed up for Opposite Day in my brain, I decided to break OUT of that cycle ASAP!  I wanted to find Erlynne again!  Now that I'm done with the pills, I finally remember who I am.

So begins my journey of discovery.  First 3 things on my to-do list:

1.  Lose the weight I gained while on the accursed antidepressants.  I didn't undergo weight loss surgery in 2004 just to get fat again in 2009!!!  I'm getting my Lap Band filled tomorrow morning and starting a daily exercise regimen.  I found out today that I have a partially torn hamstring in my right leg, so the ortho doc said to bike, not walk.  I can do that - I've got a bike in my back yard and gorgeous sunny days to play in!  Celebration Park, HERE I COME!!!!  My first goal is to lose 10 pounds by Easter Sunday.  

2.  Figure out the money.  I, who bookkeep for a LIVING, haven't reconciled a single credit card or bank statement for our personal accounts in exactly 1 year.  I know how much money we have, but I don't know where it's been, or where it's going.  That makes me crazy as a loon, and it stops NOW.  I am going to whip that budget into shape!

3.  Return and report.  I need to write the stories of what our family has done, become, experienced, and seen.  If I don't write them (with pictures, of course), then I will forget them, and that is unacceptable!  Plus, I need to reach out to those I love.  I feel like I've been an ostrich hiding with my head in the sand.  That's not me!

I can gratefully and truly say that I have leaned on the arm of the Lord for support during these past many months.  I didn't know WHY I couldn't be "a normal person," but I know He blessed me to feel His presence and His love for me and for my family.  I can't wait to repay that love by word and deed. :)