Hi everybody!
I am back! It is spring, it is gorgeous and flowery and sunny and beautiful outside (except for the 1 weird day of snow), and it has been time for rebirth and renewal here in our household.
It's a long, involved, depressing story to tell why I haven't been motivated to do... welllll... ANYTHING. In short, 2008 was really tough for me, and I couldn't find "the happy." So I sought counseling and they supported my decision to try an antidepressant. I did, and since November 2008 I have been ASLEEP! I realized, after a year and a half of "meh" and "I can't be bothered," that I had more than just stepped back and relaxed, I had lost the vitality and joy that make me who I am. The medicines had forced me to be so sleepy and worn down and relaxed that they depressed me!
So when I realized that I had accidentally signed up for Opposite Day in my brain, I decided to break OUT of that cycle ASAP! I wanted to find Erlynne again! Now that I'm done with the pills, I finally remember who I am.
So begins my journey of discovery. First 3 things on my to-do list:
1. Lose the weight I gained while on the accursed antidepressants. I didn't undergo weight loss surgery in 2004 just to get fat again in 2009!!! I'm getting my Lap Band filled tomorrow morning and starting a daily exercise regimen. I found out today that I have a partially torn hamstring in my right leg, so the ortho doc said to bike, not walk. I can do that - I've got a bike in my back yard and gorgeous sunny days to play in! Celebration Park, HERE I COME!!!! My first goal is to lose 10 pounds by Easter Sunday.
2. Figure out the money. I, who bookkeep for a LIVING, haven't reconciled a single credit card or bank statement for our personal accounts in exactly 1 year. I know how much money we have, but I don't know where it's been, or where it's going. That makes me crazy as a loon, and it stops NOW. I am going to whip that budget into shape!
3. Return and report. I need to write the stories of what our family has done, become, experienced, and seen. If I don't write them (with pictures, of course), then I will forget them, and that is unacceptable! Plus, I need to reach out to those I love. I feel like I've been an ostrich hiding with my head in the sand. That's not me!
I can gratefully and truly say that I have leaned on the arm of the Lord for support during these past many months. I didn't know WHY I couldn't be "a normal person," but I know He blessed me to feel His presence and His love for me and for my family. I can't wait to repay that love by word and deed. :)
